Dominatrix Meaning: Who She Is and How a Session Works
A dominatrix is a woman in the dominant role in BDSM, usually working professionally. She is in charge of the session, makes the rules and decides what happens, and most of the time sex plays no part.
Dominatrix meaning: the word describes a woman who plays the dominant role in BDSM. The word has a Latin form, being the feminine of dominator, and it came into English in the 1960s. The usual way to address her is Mistress, and within the scene the shorthand is domme.
What a dominatrix really does
She is in charge of the session. She sets the rules, issues the instructions and controls the pace, with your limits settled beforehand. Typical ingredients are discipline and orders, restraint, impact play using a hand, a crop or a paddle, the kind of humiliation you have requested, foot or shoe worship, and scenes built on control instead of contact.
Something that surprises many people: a session with a professional dominatrix is usually not sexual. Sleeping with you is not why she is there, and most pro dommes don’t. Its intensity lies in the power, not in the act.
Dominatrix or domination escort?
A professional dominatrix works in a dungeon with equipment such as a cross, a bench and a cage, and her sessions may last two hours or longer. A domination escort, by contrast, is a lady who enjoys leading. She sees you at her own apartment or your hotel, bringing cuffs, a blindfold and anything else she owns, and otherwise the booking is a normal one with her in control.
Most people looking for a dominatrix in London really want the latter. If a dungeon is genuinely what you want, tell us when you call and we will let you know honestly whether anyone with us can provide it. Our domination escorts page shows the ladies who lead.
What happens in a session
- A talk beforehand. Limits, the safe word and what you hope to get from it. This is never left out.
- Her decisions. Being told instead of asked is the whole idea, so if you direct every step, it isn’t really a session.
- Winding down. Water, a blanket, everyday conversation. Allow ten minutes for it at the end.
Rates and etiquette
At Pleasure of London you pay the lady’s normal hourly rate, as shown on her profile, with no extra charge for dominatrix play. Professional dungeons in London bill the room separately and usually expect longer sessions. Address her the way she asks, arrive freshly showered, bring nothing she hasn’t agreed to, and see her instructions as the point of the booking rather than an obstacle.
If you are new to this, read our guide to the meaning of BDSM first, and think about booking ninety minutes instead of an hour.
Where to next
Questions
A woman who plays the dominant role in BDSM, usually as a professional. She makes the rules and runs the session within limits agreed in advance.
Usually not. A professional session is built around power, not sex, and most pro dommes don't offer it.
A dominatrix uses a dungeon, with equipment and lengthy sessions. A domination escort likes to take the lead and sees you at her apartment or your hotel; otherwise it is an ordinary booking.
Mistress is usual unless she tells you something different. Ask at the outset instead of guessing.
With us there is no surcharge: you pay the lady's own hourly rate. Dungeons also charge for the room and usually want two hours or longer.