First Date Tips: Where to Go, What to Wear and How to Talk

Most first date tips boil down to a handful of basics: choose an easy, comfortable place, turn up on time, dress slightly smarter than the occasion requires, listen more than you speak, keep your phone out of sight and close the evening with grace. A first date is an opportunity to enjoy someone’s company and find out whether you want more of it. See it that way, not as a job interview, and most of the pressure lifts.

Below is a fuller guide covering the plan, what to wear on a date, what to talk about, good manners and some first date ideas in London.

Planning the evening

Do the planning yourself. Propose a particular venue and time, preferably one you know already, so you aren’t searching for the door. Keep the first date fairly short and open-ended: a drink that can become dinner works better than a long meal with no easy way to cut it short.

• Choose somewhere you can hear each other. Skip loud bars, cinemas and any place where you’ll be raising your voice over music.
• Consider the journey. A central spot that is simple for you both to reach is a thoughtful choice.
• Reserve a table. It shows you’ve planned ahead and spares you an awkward wait by the bar.
• Keep a backup in mind. Know a good bar close by in case things are going well.

First date ideas in London

London makes dating easy. Some ideas that seldom let you down:

• Cocktails. A low-lit speakeasy or a rooftop bar looking out over the city brings atmosphere straight away.
• Afternoon tea. Graceful and relaxed, and a lovely daytime option. Our afternoon tea in London guide picks out favourites.
• A gallery, then a stroll. A museum or gallery late opening, then a walk by the river, gives you lots to talk about.
• A romantic dinner. Ideal once you’re fairly confident you’ll get along. See our pick of romantic restaurants in London.

Want more? Our London date night ideas guide is full of them.

What to wear on a date

Dress one step smarter than the venue. You want to look like you’ve made an effort, not like you’re heading to a wedding.

• Fit beats price. A shirt and trousers that fit well look better than a costly suit a size too big.
• Smart casual works almost everywhere. Chinos or dark jeans with a crisp shirt or a fine knit, plus a decent jacket, will see you through nearly any London bar or restaurant. Add a blazer for smarter places.
• People notice shoes. Clean leather shoes or neat, minimal trainers, and never scuffed ones.
• Grooming counts for a lot. A recent haircut or a neatly kept beard, clean nails, fresh breath.
• Be sparing with fragrance. A spray or two. She should catch it when you’re near, not from the other side of the table.
• Stay comfortable. If you spend the night pulling at your collar, she’ll see it.

A quick checklist before you leave

• Table reserved and confirmed, and the address sent to her.
• Journey planned, with ten minutes in hand.
• Phone charged, plus a card and some cash on you.
• Shirt ironed, shoes polished, nails cut.
• A light bite beforehand, so you aren’t drinking on an empty stomach.

Dealing with first date nerves

Nearly everybody feels nervous before a first date, and that includes the person you’re about to meet. Some slow breathing on the journey, getting there a little early to settle, and reminding yourself that the only goal is a pleasant evening will all help. When the conversation dips, stay calm: a relaxed pause is fine, and asking about something she said earlier usually gets it going again. Nerves usually fade as soon as you’re laughing together.

What to talk about

Ask open questions about what she enjoys: travel, food, the bits of her job she likes, what she’s reading, or how she likes to spend a free Sunday. Follow up on what she tells you. Offer things about yourself too, so it never feels like an interview, and keep the mood fairly light. Save long tales about former partners, moans about work and heavy politics for later dates, if at all.

A bit of playfulness goes a long way. Our guide to flirting explains how to read the signals and keep things warm but respectful, while intimacy and connection looks at why real attention counts for so much.

Manners on a first date

• Arrive on time. If you’ll be late, send a message beforehand.
• Keep your phone away. Even face down on the table, it suggests part of you is somewhere else.
• Treat staff kindly. She will always notice.
• Drink in moderation. Relaxed is good; tipsy isn’t.
• Offer to pay. Do it graciously, and if she would prefer to split it, accept with good grace.
• Go at her pace. Let her lead on how the evening unfolds, and never take anything for granted.

Ending on a good note

If it went well, say so plainly: “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, and I’d love to see you again.” See that she gets home safely, whether you walk her to a cab or check later that she’s back. If there was no spark, be kind and honest rather than vague. A warm goodbye is the final impression you leave.

First date tips when your escort is an escort

Some gentlemen would rather enjoy a dinner date minus the guesswork of meeting someone new, so they arrange an evening escort instead. With us, a dinner date typically runs to about three hours and costs around £800, and it’s best booked a day or two in advance. Most of the advice above still holds: dress well, pick a good restaurant, be punctual and treat her just as you would any other date. A few things are different. Her rate is settled discreetly when you first meet, normally in cash, and the evening runs for an agreed length, which you should respect. Our guides to escort etiquette and dinner dates and overnights go into the details.

Ladies who offer the girlfriend experience make natural dinner escorts. Rates cover time and escortship; anything further is for the two consenting adults involved to decide privately, and she is free to say no to anything she’s uneasy with. Look through our London escorts, then call or WhatsApp via the booking page to plan your evening.